V. The Plan

Atop the main island she saw a white-walled monastery. She landed nearby—beside a great gray stone statue.

The statue intrigued her. It was a giant bird atop a stone box sheltering a tiny man with its wings.

She turned to the monastery and waited. She might have waited minutes or years, so disrupted was her conception of time. Eventually she saw Nemo exit the monastery; she recognized him by his navy robes and the swastika she’d carved on his forehead. Nemo approached her and bowed. “Akayama! Oran dora.”

“Virgil Blue,” she said. Nemo nodded. “I must ask you for a favor.”

“Anything,” said Nemo.

Nakayama squawked. “You speak! You speak English!”

V Commentary: Titles

As the working title for a passion project, Akayama DanJay is acceptable. Personally I think it’s catchy, but for anyone who speaks no Japanese, it can be intimidating and hard to remember. I like how the only vowel is “a.” The title doesn’t convey anything initially, but over the course of the story it should dawn on the reader that the double-character DanJay emerges from Akayama’s machinations. The acronym, ADJ, is nice and striking.

U. Spokes

“How horrifying,” said Lucille, to the Enemy Hurricane. She faked a sob while grinning ear to ear. “If you’d relinquish my parents, I’d do anything. I’d even surrender.”

The Enemy Hurricane condensed into a blob which smiled almost broadly as Lucille. “Have I your word?”

“My word.” Lucille covered her heart with her right hand and bent her left arm up at a right angle. “Eject them for me to inspect. They must be ordinary, breathing humans, and they must not be represented in your mind afterward. Then we surrender.”

“Commander!” said Feito.

“You can’t surrender on our behalf!” said Eisu.

“I accept your conditions.” The Enemy Hurricane spat two human bodies from its slobbery maw. “Inspect them at your leisure.”

U Commentary: Fighting Dirty

The Enemy Hurricane birthed the tools of its own destruction. Besides frightening Akayama’s Hurricane Planet into following the professor’s every order, it created a universe in which robot-pilots had to put themselves in danger to protect the galaxy. This is the perfect storm to generate its executioner, Commander Lucille.

T. Wings

The white light collected on either side of the Galaxy Zephyr’s spine. With the blare of Gnostic archons’ trumpets, sixteen white wings erupted, each longer than the Galaxy Zephyr was tall. Every feather was a jet engine.

Lucille snickered. “Not a bad look.” She flipped her hair back, and the Galaxy Zephyr grew a silvery blue ponytail like that of her late mother, Princess Lucia. “Charlie, Daisuke, Eisu, Feito, each of your teams takes the four nearest wings. Learn your controls.”

T Commentary: Apotheosis

Akayama couldn’t preside over the afterlife if she hadn’t made Sheridan. That was her training-ground for godhood. DanJay failed to defeat Anihilato as Dan, but as Jay, he has another shot. Lucille’s discovery of her parents’ fate pushes her to be merciless in battle. So the climax should wrap all these lessons in a nice package.

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