V Commentary: Titles

As the working title for a passion project, Akayama DanJay is acceptable. Personally I think it’s catchy, but for anyone who speaks no Japanese, it can be intimidating and hard to remember. I like how the only vowel is “a.” The title doesn’t convey anything initially, but over the course of the story it should dawn on the reader that the double-character DanJay emerges from Akayama’s machinations. The acronym, ADJ, is nice and striking.

N1 Commentary: Looking ahead

I don’t mind spoiling this: almost all of the next thirteen chapters take place in the anime-world. Akayama DanJay is a story with two major halves, and the DanJay half ended in chapter L. When Jay ate the centipede he began the second half of the book, the Akayama part.

I mentioned last week that the DanJay part of my story is pretty slow and needs to be tightened up. I think the Akayama part has a faster, more intriguing pace: it begins with the reveal that Akayama survived on the Hurricane Planet for years, and now Lucille plots to destroy the Hurricane once and for all in a giant robot. That’s a lot more instantly gripping than Dan whining about Beatrice not sleeping with him.

The Curveball

The baseball community had not forgotten the ostrich before the next game, and warily watched between the floodlights for hovering flightless birds. Luckily no game since was interrupted by ostrich, and the game of baseball recuperated from the incident.

The ostriches, however, were still locked in debate.

L1. The Expected Visitors

Dan and Jay slept on the fold-out couch while Bob retired to his bedroom. Jay said nothing to Dan of the visions he’d seen outside. Jay could not even decide whether he had actually met Faith, or if his mind conjured her image because he’d smoked a bug-stick.

In the morning Bob woke them both with bowls of cereal. “The college is only a short drive away.”

“Dan,” Jay asked over the cereal, “have you thought about your thesis?”

“My what?”

“Your thesis. We came to Wyoming to investigate the Sheridanian Virgils, so you could write your Religious Studies thesis.”

“Oh, right.” Dan pushed floating flakes across his milk with a spoon. “Maybe visiting the college will give me some inspiration.”

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